Written by: THE BALANCE
Medically reviewed by Dr. Sarah Boss, MD
Last updated: January 21, 2026
Fact checked
Quick Summary
  • Retroactive jealousy can be a destructive force in relationships, causing anxiety, insecurity, and mistrust.
  • It occurs when one partner becomes jealous and possessive in response to perceived threats, whether real or imagined.  We will explore the causes and consequences of retroactive jealousy and offer tips for overcoming it.
  • Retroactive jealousy is a type of jealousy that occurs when an individual becomes fixated on their partner's past romantic or sexual experiences.
Reading time: 10 min

Retroactive jealousy can be a destructive force in relationships, causing anxiety, insecurity, and mistrust. It occurs when one partner becomes jealous and possessive in response to perceived threats, whether real or imagined. 

We will explore the causes and consequences of retroactive jealousy and offer tips for overcoming it.

Retroactive jealousy is a type of jealousy that occurs when an individual becomes fixated on their partner’s past romantic or sexual experiences. It is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) that causes intrusive and irrational thoughts about a partner’s past, leading to feelings of retroactive jealousy, insecurity, and anxiety.

The term “retroactive” refers to the fact that jealousy is focused on past events that have already occurred. In other words, it is a form of jealousy that is not triggered by a current situation or event, but rather by past experiences that an individual may feel threatened by or inadequate in comparison to.

Retroactive jealousy can manifest in various ways, such as repeatedly questioning a partner about their past relationships, obsessively searching through their partner’s social media accounts to find evidence of past relationships or encounters, or feeling anxious or upset when their partner mentions past experiences. These thoughts and behaviors can cause significant distress and strain on a relationship.

The causes of retroactive jealousy are not entirely clear, but it is often linked to low self-esteem, fear of abandonment, or a sense of inadequacy. Individuals who experience retroactive jealousy may feel that their partner’s past experiences diminish their value, or that they are somehow less desirable or less important than previous partners.

Treating retroactive jealousy typically involves therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which can help individuals identify and challenge irrational thoughts and behaviors. It may also involve couples therapy to address any underlying relationship issues and build trust and communication.

Retroactive jealousy is a form of jealousy that is focused on past experiences rather than present circumstances and can be a challenging and distressing condition to manage. However, with the right treatment and support, individuals can overcome their jealousy and maintain healthy and fulfilling relationships.

Retroactive jealousy is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) that a variety of factors can trigger. Here are ten potential triggers for retroactive jealousy:

Knowing the details of a partner’s past relationships. If an individual knows a lot about their partner’s past romantic encounters, it can trigger feelings of jealousy and insecurity. Details such as how long the relationship lasted, the level of intimacy involved, or how the relationship ended can all contribute to retroactive jealousy.

Meeting a partner’s ex. Meeting a partner’s ex can be a significant trigger for retroactive jealousy, especially if the individual feels threatened by the ex’s appearance, personality, or history with their partner.

Seeing reminders of a partner’s past. Reminders of a partner’s past, such as old photographs, letters, or gifts, can trigger feelings of jealousy and insecurity. Even seeing a place that a partner visited with an ex can be enough to trigger retroactive jealousy.

Hearing about a partner’s past experiences. If a partner talks about their past relationships or sexual encounters, it can trigger retroactive jealousy in some individuals.

Social media. Social media can be a significant trigger for retroactive jealousy. Seeing photos of a partner’s ex or reading comments between a partner and an ex can be especially difficult for some individuals.

Sexual history. Knowing about a partner’s sexual history, including the number of partners they have had or their sexual preferences, can trigger retroactive jealousy.

Infidelity. If an individual has been cheated on in the past, it can make them more prone to retroactive jealousy in future relationships. The fear of being betrayed again can be a significant trigger.

Differences in experience. If an individual feels that their partner has more sexual or romantic experience than they do, it can trigger feelings of inadequacy and retroactive jealousy.

Insecurity. Insecurity in oneself or the relationship can be a significant trigger for retroactive jealousy. If an individual feels that their partner is not fully committed or does not find them attractive, they may become fixated on their partner’s past experiences.

Comparing oneself to a partner’s past partners. If an individual feels that they cannot measure up to their partner’s past partners, it can trigger feelings of jealousy and insecurity.

Overall, retroactive jealousy can be triggered by a variety of factors, including knowledge of a partner’s past, social media, infidelity, and insecurity. Recognizing these triggers and seeking help from a mental health professional can be an essential step in managing retroactive jealousy and building a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Retroactive jealousy disorder, also known as retrograde jealousy or retroactive jealousy OCD, is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) that causes individuals to experience intrusive and irrational thoughts about their partner’s past romantic or sexual experiences. It is a condition in which an individual becomes preoccupied with their partner’s past, obsessing over details and feeling intense jealousy, anxiety, and insecurity.

People with retroactive jealousy disorder may experience a wide range of symptoms, including:

  • Intrusive thoughts about their partner’s past sexual experiences, often lead to repeated questioning, checking, or seeking reassurance.
  • Compulsive behaviors, such as checking their partner’s phone, emails, or social media accounts for evidence of past relationships or encounters.
  • Emotional distress, such as feelings of anxiety, depression, and intense jealousy.
  • Low self-esteem and a sense of inadequacy, feeling that they are not good enough for their partner or that their partner’s past experiences diminish their value.
  • Strained relationships, due to their partner’s frustration and difficulty in coping with their jealousy and insecurity.

It is important to note that retroactive jealousy disorder is a treatable condition. With the right treatment and support, individuals can overcome jealousy and develop healthy coping mechanisms to maintain fulfilling relationships. If you are experiencing symptoms of retroactive jealousy disorder, seeking help from a mental health professional can be an important first step toward recovery.

Retroactive jealousy can be a challenging and distressing condition, but it is possible to overcome it. Here are ten steps that can help individuals get over retroactive jealousy:

Recognize that retroactive jealousy is a problem: The first step in getting over it is to recognize it. Acknowledging that thoughts and feelings are irrational and intrusive can help individuals take the necessary steps to overcome them.

Understand the root causes of retroactive jealousy: Retroactive jealousy can stem from a variety of issues, such as anxiety, low self-esteem, or past trauma. Identifying the underlying causes of the condition can help individuals address the root issues.

Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques such as meditation or breathing exercises can help individuals become more aware of their thoughts and feelings, allowing them to manage their emotions more effectively.

Challenge irrational thoughts: Individuals with retroactive jealousy may have irrational thoughts about their partner’s past experiences. Challenging these thoughts and questioning their validity can help individuals develop a more realistic perspective.

Communicate with your partner: Open and honest communication with your partner can help build trust and reduce anxiety. Sharing your concerns and feelings with your partner can also help them understand your perspective and provide reassurance.

Seek professional help: Consulting with a mental health professional can help manage retroactive jealousy. Therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or exposure and response prevention (ERP) can help individuals identify and challenge irrational thoughts and behaviors.

Avoid triggers: Avoiding triggers such as social media or reminders of past experiences can help reduce anxiety and intrusive thoughts.

Focus on the present: Instead of fixating on the past, try focusing on the present moment and your current relationship. Practice gratitude and appreciate the positive aspects of your current situation.

Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself through exercise, healthy eating, and adequate sleep can help reduce stress and anxiety.

Build self-esteem: Improving self-esteem can help individuals feel more confident and secure in their relationships. Positive self-talk, affirmations, and self-care can all contribute to building self-esteem.

It is important to remember that overcoming retroactive jealousy is a process that requires patience and dedication. It may take time to see progress, but with consistent effort, individuals can develop healthy coping mechanisms and maintain fulfilling relationships.

Additionally, here are some practical tips that can help manage retroactive jealousy:

  1. Avoid comparing yourself to your partner’s past partners. Remember that your partner is with you for a reason and that their past experiences do not diminish your value or worth as a person.
  2. Refrain from constantly seeking reassurance from your partner. While it is important to communicate with your partner, repeatedly asking for reassurance can create strain in the relationship.
  3. Try to understand that everyone has a past. Accepting that your partner had a life before you can help reduce feelings of jealousy and insecurity.
  4. Challenge your assumptions. Just because your partner had a past relationship does not necessarily mean that it was better than your current relationship. Try to challenge your assumptions and develop a more realistic perspective.
  5. Practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that retroactive jealousy is a challenging condition to deal with. Remember that you are not alone and that many others have successfully overcome this condition.

Overcoming retroactive jealousy is possible with the right mindset and tools. By recognizing the problem, understanding the root causes, seeking professional help, and practicing self-care, individuals can develop healthy coping mechanisms and maintain fulfilling relationships.

Retroactive jealousy is a common problem among many couples. This condition can be challenging to overcome and can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and even breakups. However, there is hope for those who suffer from retroactive jealousy, and a cure is possible.

The first step in the retroactive jealousy cure process is to acknowledge that you have a problem. Many people may not even realize that they are suffering from retroactive jealousy until it has already caused significant damage to their relationship. By recognizing the issue, individuals can begin to take action and seek help.

The next step is to understand the root cause of the problem. Often, retroactive jealousy stems from a fear of abandonment or a lack of self-esteem. Addressing these underlying issues is crucial in overcoming retroactive jealousy.

One effective retroactive jealousy cure is to seek therapy. Therapy can help individuals gain a better understanding of their emotions, identify triggers, and learn new coping mechanisms. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a particularly effective approach that can help individuals change negative thought patterns and behaviors.

Another retroactive jealousy cure is to practice self-care. Engaging in activities that bring you joy, such as exercising, meditating, or spending time with friends, can help improve your overall well-being and reduce feelings of jealousy.

Finally, it’s essential to communicate with your partner openly and honestly. Sharing your feelings and concerns with your partner can help build trust and intimacy, which can ultimately help overcome retroactive jealousy.

  1. What is retroactive jealousy and how can you stop it? Psych Central. Available at: https://psychcentral.com/relationships/retroactive-jealousy.
  2. What is retroactive jealousy? Verywell Mind. Available at: https://www.verywellmind.com/retroactive-jealousy-causes-characteristics-and-coping-6361492.
  3. Retroactive jealousy: How to deal with it. Healthline Media. Available at: https://www.healthline.com/health/retroactive-jealousy.
  4. Differentiating reactive and suspicious jealousy, Latest TOC RSS. Scientific Journal Publishers. Available at: https://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/sbp/sbp/2007/00000035/00000008/art00011.

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