Bullying and Cyberbullying: Mental Health Support for Children and Teens

When a child or teenager is bullied, adults need to address both the harm and the distress it creates. The young person should not have to become tougher or handle it alone. This guide explains practical family, school, digital, and mental health support, with US crisis information and clear limits on what treatment and prevention programs can promise.

Recognizing Bullying Without Minimizing Harm

Bullying involves unwanted aggression, a real or perceived power imbalance, and behavior that repeats or is highly likely to repeat. It can include physical aggression, insults, rumors, deliberate exclusion, or damaged belongings. Cyberbullying happens through digital communication, including messaging, social media, and online games. It is not less serious because it occurs on a screen. ^{[1], [2]}

An argument between equally powerful peers is not automatically bullying. However, families do not need to settle the label before seeking protection. Ask what happened, whether the child feels able to stop it, and whether they expect it to happen again. Avoid dismissing repeated humiliation as teasing or ordinary growing pains. ^{[1], [4]}

Power can involve a group against one person, popularity, physical strength, or control over embarrassing information. Focus on the behavior and its impact rather than blaming the targeted child's appearance, identity, interests, or personality. ^{[1], [4]}

Noticing Mental Health and Physical Warning Signs

Possible warning signs include unexplained injuries, missing belongings, headaches or stomachaches, disrupted sleep, falling grades, and reluctance to attend school. Some children show no obvious signs. Online distress may appear as withdrawal or agitation after checking messages, avoiding friends, or a marked change in device use. These clues invite a conversation; they do not prove bullying. ^{[1], [3]}

Depression in young people can include persistent irritability, loss of enjoyment, tiredness, concentration difficulties, and feeling worthless. Anxiety may appear as angry outbursts, trouble sleeping, physical discomfort, or avoidance. Take these changes seriously rather than treating them only as defiance. ^{[10], [11]}

Arrange medical evaluation for persistent physical symptoms instead of assuming they are caused by stress. Seek mental health assessment when distress persists, worsens, or interferes with daily life. You do not need to wait several weeks if symptoms are severe or safety is uncertain. ^[6]

Responding When a Child or Teen Tells You

Begin calmly: “I am glad you told me. This is not your fault. We will work on keeping you safe.” Listen before offering solutions. Ask open questions about what happened and what worries them most. They may fear retaliation, embarrassment, losing online friendships, or an adult confrontation that makes things worse. ^{[4], [5]}

Listen without criticizing the young person or assuming you already know what is wrong. Ask which adult feels safest to approach and what worries them about seeking help. As practical options, offer a written note or a quieter conversation if speaking feels difficult; let them pause. These are choices to discuss, not tested treatments for bullying. ^[5]

Avoid promising secrecy. Explain that you may need to involve someone who can protect them, while sharing only what is necessary. Whenever safety allows, discuss the next step together. Give a concrete commitment, such as contacting the school that afternoon, rather than promising the bullying will immediately stop. ^{[4] [5]}

Creating a School Safety Plan

Contact a teacher, school counselor, or administrator and put the concern in writing. Record dates, locations, what happened, witnesses, and previous reports. Ask for the school’s reporting procedure and a named person responsible for follow-up. A short factual record is more useful than repeated arguments about whether the child is too sensitive. ^[4]

Request practical protections suited to the situation: supervised transitions, a safe lunchtime location, an adult check-in, or a reliable way to report another incident. Ask how retaliation will be monitored and how staff will communicate across classrooms, transportation, and extracurricular activities. CDC recommends supportive school environments and connections to mental health services. ^[7]

Agree on a review date and ask what evidence will show that the plan is working. If incidents continue, use the school or district’s escalation process. For disability-related needs, ask whether an educational evaluation or accommodations are appropriate; eligibility is individualized. Clinical support can help explain how symptoms affect learning and attendance. ^[6]

Managing Cyberbullying and Preserving Evidence

For ordinary abusive messages, help preserve relevant screenshots, usernames, dates, and links before blocking or reporting where possible. This advice excludes sexual images of minors: do not screenshot, download, copy, or forward those images to document the incident. Seek guidance from local law enforcement or the child-exploitation reporting route identified by USAGov instead. Avoid retaliating or circulating material to recruit support. Use the platform's current reporting process. Reporting does not guarantee removal or prevent contact through another account. ^{[3], [14]}

Review privacy settings and who can contact the child. Involve them in discussing options such as muting an upsetting conversation or taking a supported break. An adult could handle practical reporting tasks so the child need not repeatedly reread abusive messages. These are options for a shared plan, not a promise that particular settings will stop harassment. ^{[3], [5]}

The UK government’s cyberbullying advice supports evidence preservation, reporting, and involving children in solutions, but its 2014 platform instructions are not current technical guidance. Use the relevant service’s present controls. Simply telling a child to stop using technology is not a complete response, especially when supportive friendships also exist online. ^[3]

Knowing When Safety Requires Urgent Action

If a child is injured, faces an immediate credible threat, or may act on suicidal thoughts, seek urgent local help. In the United States, call 911 for immediate danger or a medical emergency. Call or text 988 for suicide or mental health crisis support. THE BALANCE is not an emergency service. ^[6]

Ask directly and calmly, “Are you thinking about suicide?” Asking does not increase suicidal thoughts or behavior. If immediate safety is uncertain, stay with the child while arranging help, provided you can do so safely. Do not leave crisis management to another teenager or rely on a promise that nothing will happen. ^[12]

Sexual coercion, stalking, extortion, or exploitation need a safeguarding response, not only school discipline. In the United States, contact local law enforcement about threats or crimes; call 911 for immediate danger. USAGov's crime-reporting guidance identifies a dedicated child-exploitation reporting route. As a cautious safeguarding step, do not create, download, or forward new copies of sexual images of minors for a report; ask a trusted adult or law enforcement how to proceed without circulating the image. ^[14]

Separately, a clinician can help develop a suicide safety plan and discuss securing dangerous items, including firearms and medicines, without interrupting necessary treatment. The NIMH guidance cited here is for clinical assessment, not a home diagnostic test or a sexual-exploitation reporting protocol. ^[13]

What a Mental Health Assessment Should Explore

Start with the pediatrician or an appropriately qualified child mental health clinician. Explain the bullying, its timeline, changes in functioning, and measures already taken. Bring relevant school communications, but do not make proof of bullying a condition of receiving care. Our guide to finding appropriate child and adolescent mental health support offers further direction. ^[6]

Assessment should consider the young person’s account alongside developmental, medical, family, and school information. Ask whether they can speak privately for part of the visit and how confidentiality works when safety concerns arise. A suicide assessment may explore current thoughts, previous behavior, mood, sleep, substance use, bullying, and available support. ^{[6], [13]}

Useful questions include: “What needs attention first?” “Who will coordinate with the school?” and “What would require urgent reassessment?” Request communication adjustments, an interpreter, or accessible materials when needed. The outcome should be an understandable plan, not just a diagnostic label. ^[6]

Choosing Care for Co-Occurring Difficulties

Bullying-related distress may coexist with depression, anxiety, sleep problems, substance use, or other needs. These concerns require their own assessment rather than assuming bullying explains everything. Conversely, a preexisting diagnosis must not be used to dismiss credible reports of mistreatment. ^{[6], [10], [13]}

Treatment should address the assessed difficulty while adults work to stop the harassment. Cognitive behavioral therapy provides background on a family of treatments; youth care must be adapted to age, development, and the specific problem. A therapist should distinguish realistic danger from anxious predictions, not teach a child that ongoing harassment is merely a thinking error. ^[6]

Care may involve outpatient therapy, parent support, school coordination, or more intensive age-appropriate services when needs are greater. Medication may be considered for a diagnosed condition, but it does not stop bullying. Ask about expected benefits, adverse effects, monitoring, and alternatives. Seek local pediatric expertise; this article does not describe admission of minors to THE BALANCE. ^[6]

Helping Families and Peers Support Recovery

CDC encourages helping children pursue activities they enjoy and build friendships. As a practical option, discuss supportive friendships outside the setting where bullying occurs, without forcing social contact. Ask whether a trusted relative, coach, counselor, or another adult could help. This is a choice about available support, not a proven treatment effect from expanding a friendship network. ^{[1], [4]}

Caregivers may feel angry, guilty, or helpless. Get support for your own reactions so the child does not have to manage them. Systemic and family therapy explains a relational approach that may help with communication and boundaries; considering family involvement does not mean the family caused the bullying. ^{[4], [6]}

Peers can help by refusing to share humiliating content, privately checking in, and alerting a trusted adult. They should not confront someone when doing so could put them at risk. If your child has bullied others, set clear limits, support accountability, and explore their needs without excusing harm. ^[1]

Understanding What Prevention Evidence Can and Cannot Promise

A plan should extend beyond asking the targeted child to become more resilient. School practices, adult supervision, peer behavior, and reporting systems also matter. CDC recommends school connectedness, safe environments, social and emotional skills, and access to support services. Individual therapy cannot replace those responsibilities. ^[7]

In the English INCLUSIVE randomized trial, a whole-school intervention combining staff training, student participation, and social-emotional learning produced a small reduction in bullying, but not a significant overall reduction in aggression. This supports attention to school environments, not a guarantee that one program will protect every student. ^[8]

Another large randomized effectiveness trial in elementary schools found similar reductions in victimization across intervention and usual-care groups, without clear differences between them. Results vary with program, context, implementation, and outcome. Ask how a school evaluates its approach and responds when an individual child remains unsafe. ^[9]

Following Up and Rebuilding Everyday Confidence

Review both safety and well-being. Has unwanted contact stopped? Does the child trust the reporting process? Are sleep, concentration, friendships, and participation improving? A child can remain distressed after incidents end, so the absence of new reports should not automatically end support. ^{[10], [11]}

For school avoidance, coordinate with the child, school, and clinician to address actual threats and create a supported return plan. Do not force attendance without understanding why the child feels unsafe. Progress may include entering through a safer route, reconnecting with one trusted adult, or gradually restoring participation after protections are established. ^[11]

If self-harm occurs, address injuries and immediate safety, then seek assessment. Our self-harm assessment and support guide offers additional information. For further reading, support for suicidal thoughts includes Spanish and European crisis contacts, which do not replace US services. Keep the child’s local professional contacts and crisis plan accessible. ^{[6], [13]}