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Clinical resource

What is Self Esteem

Self-esteem, often referred to as the backbone of our emotional well-being, is a fundamental aspect of how we perceive ourselves and our worth. It is associated with well-being, but higher self-esteem does not guarantee…

Clinically reviewed byDr. Sarah Boss, MD
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Quick Summary

  • Self-esteem reflects how people perceive their worth and abilities, influencing thoughts, emotions, behavior, relationships, resilience, and willingness to pursue opportunities.
  • Childhood experiences, feedback, social comparisons, achievements, setbacks, cultural messages, and support networks can all shape self-esteem over time.
  • Self-compassion, challenging negative thoughts, recognizing progress, setting realistic goals, and seeking personal or professional support may help strengthen self-esteem.

Self-esteem, often referred to as the backbone of our emotional well-being, is a fundamental aspect of how we perceive ourselves and our worth. It is associated with well-being, but higher self-esteem does not guarantee happiness or success.

Self-esteem plays a significant role in shaping our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, influencing the way we interact with the world around us. Whether it’s believing in our abilities, celebrating our achievements, or navigating through challenges with resilience, self-esteem can be one influence among many.

In this journey of self-discovery, we will explore the importance of self-esteem, understand how it impacts various aspects of our lives, and discover practical strategies to improve self-esteem and embrace a more confident and fulfilling existence.

Self-esteem is like the foundation of a house, it’s the way we feel about ourselves and the value we place on our abilities. It’s like that little voice in our heads that either lifts us or brings us down. Having healthy self-esteem is crucial because it affects how we think, feel, and behave.

Healthy self-esteem can help us approach challenges, while low self-esteem may involve self-criticism, inadequacy and avoidance [2]. Self-esteem and the quality of social relationships also predict one another over time [13].

How Self-Esteem Develops: Building Confidence Brick by Brick

Self-esteem develops over time through a combination of experiences, relationships and individual characteristics. Some of the key mechanisms that contribute to the development of self-esteem are:

Early Childhood Experiences: Our first experiences in life play a crucial role in shaping our self-esteem. Children who receive consistent love, care, and encouragement tend to develop a healthier sense of self-worth.

Feedback from Others: As we grow older, the feedback we receive from parents, teachers, peers, and other significant figures in our lives can significantly impact our self-esteem. Positive and constructive feedback can build us up, while constant criticism can erode our confidence.

Social Comparisons: We often compare ourselves to others to gauge our abilities and strengths. This can either positively motivate us or lead to feelings of inferiority if we perceive ourselves as lacking compared to others.

Achievements and Failures: Our accomplishments and failures also influence our self-esteem. Successes can boost our confidence, while repeated failures or a fear of failure can lead to self-doubt.

Media and Society: Messages from the media and society about what is considered attractive, successful, or worthy can impact how we view ourselves.

Coping with Challenges: How we handle setbacks and challenges can shape our self-esteem. Overcoming obstacles and learning from failures can strengthen our belief in our abilities.

Support System: Having a supportive network of family and friends can positively influence our self-esteem by providing encouragement and validation.

Types of Self-Esteem: Different Ways We See Ourselves

Self-esteem can be described by its level, overall or domain-specific focus, and dependence on particular conditions. These descriptions overlap; they are not separate diagnoses:

High Self-Esteem: People with high self-esteem generally have a positive self-image, believe in their abilities, and feel worthy of love and respect. They are more likely to take on challenges, pursue their goals, and have healthier relationships.

Low Self-Esteem: Individuals with low self-esteem often struggle with self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy, and a fear of failure. They may avoid taking risks and be overly critical of themselves.

Global Self-Esteem: This refers to an overall evaluation of oneself, taking into account various aspects like appearance, abilities, and social skills.

Domain-Specific Self-Esteem: This type of self-esteem is related to specific areas of life, such as academic performance, relationships, or physical appearance. A person may have high self-esteem in one area but low self-esteem in another.

Contingent Self-Esteem: Some individuals base their self-worth on external factors, like approval from others or material possessions. This can make their self-esteem unstable, as it relies on external validation.

Let’s talk about why self-esteem is so important. It’s like the fuel that keeps your life’s engine running smoothly. So, let’s dive in and explore why you should pay attention to this critical aspect of your mental well-being!

Boosts Your Confidence

When you have healthy self-esteem, it’s like having your cheerleader always by your side. You feel more confident in your abilities and believe in yourself, even when facing challenges. That inner voice becomes a positive force, pushing you to take on new opportunities and make the most out of life [2].

Resilience: Bouncing Back from Life’s Curveballs

Life can be a rollercoaster, with ups and downs that can leave you feeling shaken. Healthy self-esteem may support coping, but it does not make anyone immune to stress or setbacks. Support, circumstances and other coping skills also matter.

Better Relationships

Longitudinal research suggests a reciprocal association: self-esteem predicts later relationship quality, and supportive relationships predict later self-esteem. This does not mean that self-esteem alone determines relationship choices or protects someone from mistreatment [13].

Confidence and Working Toward Your Goals

Believing in yourself may encourage initiative and persistence, but raising self-esteem alone has not been shown to guarantee achievement. Skills, opportunities, support and realistic plans also matter [6].

Mental Well-Being: Nurturing Your Mind

Challenging harsh self-criticism can be a useful self-help strategy [2]. However, positive affirmations alone should not be presented as a treatment for stress, anxiety or depression. Associations between self-esteem and mental health do not establish that affirmations prevent or treat a mental health condition [8].

Greater Happiness and Life Satisfaction

Higher self-esteem is associated with greater happiness and life satisfaction, but this does not establish that increasing self-esteem alone will produce these outcomes [6].

More Courage to Explore New Opportunities

Life is an adventure, and having self-esteem is like having a treasure map. Higher self-esteem may support initiative and willingness to explore new opportunities, but it does not guarantee confidence in every situation [6]. Whether you’re trying a new hobby, starting a business, or making new friends, skills, circumstances and support also matter.

Self-Esteem and Mental Health

Longitudinal studies associate lower self-esteem with later symptoms of anxiety and depression. These observational findings do not establish that increasing self-esteem prevents either condition; anxiety may also predict later lower self-esteem [8].

Positive Influence on Others

Self-esteem and social relationships can influence one another over time, but confidence is not automatically contagious and does not guarantee a positive effect on others [13].

Empowerment to Overcome Challenges

A healthier view of yourself may make challenges feel more manageable. Needing help with a difficult situation does not mean that your self-esteem is inadequate.

Low self-esteem is when you have a negative perception of yourself and your worth. It’s like having a constant shadow of self-doubt following you around. You might feel inadequate, unlovable, or like you’re just not good enough [2]. Many people experience periods of low confidence, so you are not alone [2].

Low Self-Esteem: Exploring The Factors At Play

Low self-esteem doesn’t just appear out of thin air; it often develops over time due to a variety of factors. Here are some ways it can take root:

Negative Experiences: Hurtful or critical experiences, especially during childhood, can leave a lasting impact on your self-esteem. Harsh criticism, bullying, or even neglect can plant the seeds of self-doubt.

Unrealistic Standards: Setting impossibly high standards for yourself can set you up for disappointment. When you constantly feel like you’re falling short of your expectations, your self-esteem can take a hit.

Comparisons to Others: The comparison game is dangerous! Constantly comparing yourself to others and feeling like you don’t measure up can lead to a negative self-image.

Lack of Validation: When you don’t receive enough positive feedback or validation from others, it’s easy to question your worth.

Perfectionism: Striving for perfection in every aspect of life can be exhausting. When perfection is the goal, any small mistake can feel like a huge failure, impacting your self-esteem.

Trauma and Abuse: Traumatic experiences, such as abuse or significant losses, can deeply affect your self-esteem.

Signs of Low Self-Esteem

These experiences may occur alongside low self-esteem, but they are not a diagnostic checklist and can have other causes:

  • Frequent self-criticism and negative self-talk [2].
  • Fear of trying new things or taking risks because you believe you’ll fail.
  • Feeling unworthy of love and affection.
  • Avoiding social situations or isolating yourself.
  • Difficulty accepting compliments or dismissing them as insincere.
  • Seeking excessive approval and validation from others.
  • Self-harm or harmful substance use may coexist with low self-esteem, but neither establishes its cause; both warrant appropriate support.

The Impact of Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem can have a significant impact on your life and well-being:

Mental Health Challenges: Lower self-esteem is associated with later depressive and anxiety symptoms, but these associations do not establish a single cause [8].

Relationship Struggles: Low self-esteem can affect how you interact with others, leading to difficulties in forming and maintaining healthy relationships.

Missed Opportunities: When you don’t believe in yourself, you might hold back from pursuing opportunities that could lead to personal and professional growth.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: Low self-esteem can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe you’re not capable, you might avoid trying, confirming your negative beliefs.

If you’re struggling with self-esteem issues, you’re not alone. Many people face challenges in this area, but the good news is that you can improve your self-esteem and boost your confidence. It’s like a journey of self-discovery and growth, and I’m here to guide you with coping strategies that can make a real difference. Let’s get started!

Practice Self-Compassion

Being kind to yourself is like planting seeds of self-worth. Instead of beating yourself up for mistakes or perceived shortcomings, practice self-compassion. Here’s how:

  • Be as gentle with yourself as you would be with a dear friend facing a similar struggle.
  • Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes, and it’s okay to have imperfections.
  • Treat yourself with understanding and patience, just like you would support a loved one [2].

Challenge Negative Thoughts

Try examining negative thoughts and developing more balanced alternatives:

  • Pay attention to your thoughts and identify negative self-talk.
  • Question the validity of these thoughts – are they based on evidence or just assumptions?
  • Develop realistic, balanced thoughts supported by evidence rather than forcing yourself to believe positive statements.

Celebrate Your Achievements

You’ve accomplished more than you realize! Celebrate even the smallest victories and recognize your efforts:

  • Keep a journal of your achievements, big and small.
  • Take pride in your progress, no matter how small the steps may seem.
  • Celebrate yourself, and remember, you are deserving of recognition for your efforts [2].

Set Realistic Goals

Setting achievable goals can be a confidence booster, so aim for success:

  • Break bigger goals into smaller, manageable tasks.
  • Focus on one step at a time; progress may help build confidence, although setbacks are normal.
  • Embrace the process and acknowledge the effort you put into reaching your goals.

Seek Support and Professional Help When Needed

You don’t have to go on this journey alone. Reach out for support. If you self-harm or think about self-harm, seek professional help [9]. If you might act on suicidal thoughts or cannot stay safe, seek urgent crisis support. In the United States, call or text 988; for immediate life-threatening danger, call 911. Elsewhere, use your local crisis or emergency service [1].

  • Talk to friends and family about your feelings and challenges.
  • Consider joining support groups to connect with others who may have similar experiences.
  • If you find that low self-esteem issues are significantly impacting your daily life, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor.

Luxury Treatment Centers for Mental Health and Self-Esteem Issues

Talking therapies may help with persistent low self-esteem [2]. The appropriate level of care depends on assessed needs; luxury accommodation is not evidence of greater clinical effectiveness.

THE BALANCE describes assessment-led private residential treatment in Mallorca and Zurich, and private residential mental health treatment in London. Services and professionals are selected for the individual. Residential accommodation is not an acute psychiatric hospital; hospital-level care requires an appropriate separate setting. Its published service descriptions include:

Therapeutic Approaches: Individual psychotherapy and appropriately selected supportive approaches. Art therapy may be included when it fits the assessment and a qualified practitioner is available; the actual methods and professional roles should be confirmed for the agreed program.

Luxurious Amenities: Private residential arrangements, with the property, facilities and access arrangements confirmed before arrival. Amenities are not a substitute for clinical care.

Expert and Compassionate Staff: An individual team selected according to assessed needs, location, professional scope and availability, with responsibilities confirmed in the treatment plan.

Holistic Wellness: Emphasis on overall well-being, including nutrition, fitness, and stress-reduction techniques.

Questions

Frequently Asked Questions

Can Social Media Impact Self-Esteem, And How Can I Protect Myself From Its Negative Effects?
Social media can affect self-esteem, but effects vary. Research links upward comparisons with poorer momentary self-evaluations; this does not mean every user is harmed [14]. If social media leaves you feeling worse, consider reducing or changing your use, notice comparison habits, and remember that posts may not reflect the full reality of someone’s life. Focus on your growth and accomplishments instead of comparing yourself to others.
Is Self-Esteem Solely Based On External Validation, Or Can It Come From Within?
Self-esteem can come from both external validation and internal factors. While positive feedback and support from others can boost self-esteem, true self-worth often comes from within. Cultivating self-compassion, recognizing your strengths, and valuing your efforts can lead to a more stable and authentic sense of self-esteem.
How Can Parents And Educators Support The Development Of Healthy Self-Esteem In Children And Teens?
Parents and educators play a crucial role in fostering healthy self-esteem in young individuals. They can:
●       Offer consistent love, support, and encouragement.
●       Praise effort and progress, not just achievements.
●       Encourage children to try new things and embrace challenges.
●       Teach self-compassion and the importance of valuing oneself.
●       Create a positive and nurturing environment that promotes self-expression and individuality.

Editorial evidence

Evidence & sources

Selected clinical guidelines, peer-reviewed research, and public-health sources used in this article.

01Caring for Your Mental Health – National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). (www.nimh.nih.gov).View source
02National Health Service. (2023). Raising low self-esteem.View source
View all 16 sourcesShow fewer sources
04National Institute for Health and Care Excellence. (2022). Depression in adults: Treatment and management.View source
05World Health Organization. (n.d.). Mental health.View source
06Baumeister, R. F., Campbell, J. D., Krueger, J. I., & Vohs, K. D. (2003). Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles? Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 4(1), 1–44.View source
07Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (n.d.). Find Support.View source
08Sowislo, J. F., & Orth, U. (2013). Does low self-esteem predict depression and anxiety? A meta-analysis of longitudinal studies. Psychological Bulletin, 139(1), 213–240.View source
09National Health Service. (n.d.). Where to get help for self-harm.View source
10National Institute of Mental Health. (n.d.). Help for Mental Illnesses.View source
11Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (n.d.). National helpline.View source
12World Health Organization. (2025). Mental health of adolescents.View source
13Harris, M. A., & Orth, U. (2019, September 26). The Link Between Self-Esteem and Social Relationships: A Meta-Analysis of Longitudinal Studies. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Advance online publication.View source
14Midgley, C., Thai, S., Lockwood, P., Kovacheff, C., & Page-Gould, E. (2021). When every day is a high school reunion: Social media comparisons and self-esteem. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 121(2), 285–307.View source
15National Health Service. (n.d.). Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).View source
16American Psychiatric Association. (n.d.). What is depression?View source
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