Healing Your Inner Child: Rebuilding Self-Esteem and Learning to Love Who You Are

Speaking with Saskia van Houten, I was struck by the way this conversation connected early relationships, family patterns and the way unspoken experiences can shape adult life. These subjects are often discussed separately, although in a person’s life they can influence one another continuously.

What I took from the conversation is that family influence is rarely simple. Love, loyalty, harm, protection and silence can exist in the same system. Useful work requires enough nuance to recognise these tensions without forcing every person into a fixed role.

The episode also highlights that insight must eventually become practice: clearer communication, safer boundaries, more honest relationships and a greater ability to respond to the present rather than only to the past.

My broader reflection is that balance is not a fixed destination. It is the capacity to notice what is happening, understand what may be driving it and respond with greater awareness. Professional support can help create that capacity, but it must remain grounded in the person’s circumstances, choices and safety.

As a psychotherapist, she bridges neuroscience, emotion, and lived experience—showing that when the mind feels safe, the heart begins to open.

Tune in for an honest conversation about trauma, belonging, and the courage to heal.

Beyond her clinical work, Saskia is a published author and a frequent contributor to Dutch television and radio, where she shares her insights on mental health and emotional wellbeing.

Throughout the discussion, we return to the importance of looking beneath visible symptoms or behaviours. The aim is not to force one explanation onto every experience, but to understand the combination of history, relationships, body, environment and meaning that may be relevant for this individual.